Being Happy is Being Yourself

Some people have a shopping list and stick to it. I walk up and down aisles discovering items I never knew I needed. Recently, as I was waiting to pay for items I didn’t need, I noticed a single 3 Musketeers bar with a bright yellow starburst on the wrapper. I picked up the candy bar, even though I did not need it on a post-Easter diet. My heart leaped thinking maybe it included peanut butter.

To my surprise, it had nothing to do with ingredients. There in bright yellow were the words, “Being Happy is Being Yourself.” It was a heavy statement for a light and fluffy candy bar. Then I thought, maybe this is one of those signs God sends us that we are just too busy to pay attention to.

Those profound words started me thinking about who I am, what my God-given talents are, and whether I use them to make a happy life for myself and others. My mind immediately recalled Mary James, my seventh-grade religion teacher, who became my longtime friend and mentor. Mary taught that Jesus’ parable of the talents meant that God bestowed on us talents, and if we don’t use the unique gifts God gave us, it shows our lack of appreciation to God. 

However, in thinking about words on the candy bar I did become conflicted. Isn’t it selfish to think about yourself? Isn’t it boastful to love yourself? Many self-help books say, “to love others you have to love yourself,” and “to be happy you have to discover it within.” On my journey of discovery, I had to learn to be okay with who I am.

Mister Rogers was wonderful to tell us as children how special we were. I didn’t understand it then, but now I have come to appreciate it. I am always thanking God for the blessing of family and friends who accept me for who I am.

But there have been road blocks on my life’s journey in the form of judgements and criticism that stopped me from liking myself. Sometimes people don’t say things to be cruel, but certain words always stay with you. Some people have told me, “you need to speak up more.” When I tried, it shook me up. I learned I have a shyness to me and I do not like conflict. So I accepted that about myself, instead of worrying that I was doing something wrong or just being a coward.

Criticism that I never could let go of dates back to elementary school, when my music teacher told me to lip synch during school concerts. Music makes me joyful, so I enjoy singing along. However, her words always made me afraid to sing outside the car or house. Then one day I forgot my fear of singing when Fr. Metzler asked everybody to sing, “Let There Be Peace on Earth.” Nobody told me to stop, nor were they holding their ears. After conquering singing, I moved on to dancing at weddings and concerts, despite my lack of rhythm. I always watched other people having fun on the floor, and now I am with them, and smiling the whole time.

I don’t think the words on the candy bar meant: do what you like in life and you will be happy all the time. Life is not all happy trees and rainbows. When “adulting,” there are things that “you have to do,” instead of what you “want to do.” I used to think that going to a movie every weekend was my happiness. Now, I need to spend more time with my mother, who has limited mobility, and I am still happy. I believe the candy bar was saying that happiness in life is not about what you are doing, but about being okay with who you are and accepting life’s circumstances. Looking at it further, I think it is saying that envy of what others have, jealousy of their talents, and the fear of being judged block joy and peace within us.

On another shopping trip, I discovered a sign that read “Let Your True Colors Shine Brightly.” It reminded me of that candy bar and my favorite Scripture reading, 1 Corinthians 12: “we are one body, with different parts.” I believe that by discovering the part of the body God created me to be, I discovered happiness in life.

I still keep my eyes open in the shopping aisles, but now instead of looking for things I don’t need, I also look for signs from God that offer reflection and inspiration.