Some Good Counsel for Getting through this Moment of Scandal

With the release of the Grand Jury Report, this is the fourth time I have had my spirit squeezed-not quite crushed-by the gravity of the clergy scandal. The first time was in 2002 when the Boston story broke. I was in graduate school in Austria. The second time happened while I was Academic Dean at St. Vincent Seminary, when the John Jay Study was released. The third time was when I sat down to watch the movie Spotlight, at the behest of my brother, who, while not assaulted as a child, was groomed and targeted by priests (accused and removed) from the Diocese of Seattle.

This is near to me, as it is for so many of us. I have also known since the John Jay Study the complete scope and gravity of the situation, in all its different species of filth. I have to be honest, for me anyhow, this news, in some respects, is not new; it is just being presented anew because we now have more names and details. Honestly, I do not find the details helpful whatsoever. Some things ought never to enter the imagination. Our own imagination is sufficient to know evil when we hear of it.

At every moment along this horrible pilgrimage of forced disclosure, I have turned to the Lord and simply dumped my heart in his lap: "I don't know what to do with this; I'm angry, disgusted, distrustful, and pretty much a wreck." Yet here I am as I have been for a long time, working in the Church trying to be an instrument in the hands of God for a future different from the past we continue to be forced to relive.

I would like to share how the Lord has helped me along this journey. I hope it helps you, especially if you are beyond discouraged, and simply heartbroken. With one caveat, let me say that I am not a victim of clergy sexual abuse, so I direct these comments to those who are innocent bystanders of this scandal. Victims have an entirely different set of needs beyond what I share below.

The first counsel the Lord has given me over the years is to keep my eyes fixed on him. To believe in him alone. He understands all of this perfectly well. By his Passion, he is every abused child; he is every devastated parent; he is every faithful soul robbed of their innocence and trust. I find that knowing this, and staying focused on him, is simply enough for the comfort I need right now. Actually, it is all we ever need. The pain does not just vanish, mind you, but it does become bearable, just as his was by keeping his gaze fixed on the Father.

Second, the Lord always tells me to steward my judgments. This is terribly hard. To make sweeping condemnations based on reports (especially from the news), is extremely easy to do. Arresting my desire to condemn has helped me deal with my emotional rage over the cover-ups in this scandal especially. While I am always to make moral judgments about what is good and evil-otherwise, I would not have a conscience-I am not to condemn people in my heart and assume I know their intentions.

Third, instead of remaining in a place of condemnation and righteous outrage-and I have had my share-the Lord has simply encouraged me to mourn and then bury my sorrow and outrage in his heart. He will handle the judgment part. If I do this, he promises to comfort me. This has really helped. By his grace, I have learned to trust in that comfort by entrusting my judgments to his providence. Even more, the Lord has said to me, do not condemn, because in like circumstances of responsibility, you may not have made the right decision either. Would you not, in that moment, beseech my mercy and want it? In fact, in much lesser things, Michel, you have covered up your sins too. Touché, Lord.

Finally, the Lord has directed me, repeatedly, to forgive those, (whoever they are) for these sins of betrayal. Pray for them too. Betrayal is the most difficult sin to forgive, mind you. Yet Jesus knows that well, and from the cross, he did just that.  This might seem impossible but it is not. It all depends upon whether we decide to forgive.

I once had a high school student whose father's good friend sexually abused her while she, as a little girl, was alone with him in their family home. By then the authorities had handled the whole thing and she had received some years of counseling. She asked me, "Mr. Therrien, do I have to forgive this man?" My response to her was, "No, you do not have to . . . but if you don't, you will remain within the prison of his evil the rest of your life. There's only one way out of that prison, and the key is your forgiveness." I do not know whether she ever did. Nor would I blame her if she never has. Nevertheless, healing from scandal and abuse can only occur through forgiveness.


Only to the extent to which, by the grace of God, I have been faithful to the Lord's inspiration have I been able to continue to love the Church and find peace amidst this never-ending anguish.