The Our Father: A Prayer for My Family Life

I went to Confession a few weeks ago to a dear elderly priest. Father has been having trouble hearing for a while, so now he hears Confessions in the cry room, I assume in part so that he can try to read the penitent’s lips. I’ve confessed to this particular priest numerous times, and his typical penance is three Our Fathers for the suffering souls in Purgatory. However, on this occasion, he gave me ten Our Fathers! I resisted the urge to ask him, “What did you think I just confessed?”
 
As I moved from the cry room-confessional to the pew to pray my relatively hefty penance, I was greeted by the three of my four young children who accompanied me to Confession. I knelt and began, “Our Father, who art in…” “Daddy, I have to go potty.” After resolving the potty issue, I got through three or four Our Fathers before hearing a loud bang. I got up to remind my kids to stay close to me and to be quiet. I knelt again, realized I lost count, and started over. “…give us this day our daily…” My kids were fighting over a hymnal. And so went the pattern of my praying, such that I am quite certain I must have prayed 40 or 50 Our Fathers to get to ten of them with at least half of my focus.
 
It wasn’t just my kids trying to get my attention. Jesus was interrupting me to force me to say these words over and over and over until I heard him speak through them. Jesus showed me that the Our Father isn’t just some pious words he thought we should say regularly. He showed me, in the midst of the chaos of my kids, that this is a prayer for the very heart of my family life.
 
I want to be a good father, and I strive to present my children with a good image of the Good Father, our Father, the one who art in heaven. And I want his name to be made holy anew, for his kingdom to come and his will to be done on earth as it is in heaven. But not just anywhere on earth. I want it in my own home, in the heart of my own family, for my wife, my children, and myself. Jesus showed me that what I pray for in the first half of the Our Father speaks to my duty as a Christian husband and father.
 
How often do I pray for God to give us our daily bread, to get us through the current need! God, help us raise this child well. God, help us to correct her backtalk gently. God, help us get through today’s crazy schedule. God, help us with our finances. God, bless my wife today and help her with the difficulties she will face. God, get me through this long workday so I can go home and see my family. The daily bread I pray for is also the daily bread of family life. It is the grace, not just to get through the ups and downs, but to live in and through those ups and downs.
 
Then comes the most dangerous line of the prayer: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” As a DRE, I often remind others that with this line, we give God our permission not to forgive us if we don’t forgive others. After praying this line 40-50 times with my children’s frequent interruptions, I was ready to ask them that great parenting question: “How many times have I told you…?” That’s when Jesus interrupted me to remind me I’m supposed to forgive my children not seven times in a day but seventy times seven times. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those little ones who so frequently trespass against us.
 
Lead us not into a parent’s great temptation to hold a grudge against our children or our spouse, to expect too much of those we live with while expecting too little of ourselves. Protect my wife and children from all the temptations out there and all the temptations in our own home. Deliver us all from the evil one. And let me not be the cause of those temptations to sin for my wife and my children!
 
Perhaps Father clearly heard every word of my confession. Perhaps the penance was entirely adequate after all.