I’m afraid He’ll see me. He’ll see me, all of me: the times I’ve forgotten Him; the dreams I think may be deprived of their dignity if spoken aloud; the insecurities that brush so nicely under a thick carpet when the doorbell rings; the securities in which I place too much credence. It’s my greatest fear and my heart’s deepest longing: to be seen for who I truly am.
When I first came to Duquesne University in fall 2011, I met a priest and we became good friends. In the midst of a personal crisis of faith, he gave me this Scripture to reflect and meditate on – it still cuts me to the core:
Imagine: Your time is up, and a lifetime of good deeds is about to pay off with an eternity in communion with the Creator. You arrive to the Pearly Gates eager to enjoy the bounty of Paradise. There’s just one thing – you need to fill out the paperwork. Don’t worry – it’s just the procedure. If you’ve lived a good life, then you’ll probably get in.